Sketch into Free Machine Embroidery experiment No.2

I have had another go at turning a quick sketch into a free machine embroidery, this time adding some colour. I took bits of this doodle.....

and the end result looks a bit laboured and too much like a bad drawing. To keep sane I am going to put this picture away for a few weeks and then have another look. At the moment I have a picture in my mind of how I wanted it to look, but I think I just need to be brave and machine into it more. The next experiment I am going to try is to under paint a sketch and then machine embroider on top.